Guide for Difficult Conversations: Performance Management
In 2024, Chantilly Mediation and Facilitation began holding Executive Roundtable discussions exclusively for nonprofit leaders. It was through this program that Gina met Roopal Mehta Sarah, Executive Director of the English Empowerment Center. After experiencing a shortened form of our signature training Curiosity, Conflict, Communication, Roopal requested more information about handling specific scenarios. This post is the second of three looking at specific situations commonly faced in mission-driven organizations.
Let’s face it, everyone seems super stressed lately, amiright?
First it was the pandemic… then the 2024 election… now there’s continuing chaos. Wars. Climate change. The ongoing pressure to do more with less. Life. Is. Overwhelming.
How on earth are you, a mission-driven leader doing important work to improve the world, supposed to deal with basic performance management issues?
You know what I’m talking about: Chronic lateness. Missed deadlines. Ignoring texts/calls/emails during normal working hours.
When you lead an organization because you love the mission and the nonprofit industry, how do you handle performance issues?
General Advice for Leaders Who Supervise Staff
These conversations need to happen continuously. As any HR expert will advise, feedback is an ongoing conversation throughout an employee’s tenure - or a volunteer’s (yes, even a Board Director)! Ideally those you lead receive a mix of informal feedback and formal feedback on an ongoing basis.
It’s always important to:
Offer specific praise on things that deserve praise;
Hold people accountable for their position description responsibilities as well as any “collateral” tasks they may have signed up for;
Be honest, timely, and specific in providing constructive criticism;
Let the employee or volunteer lead in regularly-scheduled supervisory check-in meetings.
When they don’t meet expectations, you should:
Actively listen to their explanations or perspectives.
Tell them in specific detail the ways that they have fallen short.
Respect their privacy, but also be clear when non-worklife seems to be interfering in work responsibilities.
Whenever possible, tie it back to the organization’s mission and values. Is teamwork a value? How does their behavior affect their colleagues? How does it affect the clients or constituency you serve?
When you’re in hard conversations, prepare yourself to hear some silence. There are a lot of reasons for silence, and most often it simply means that people are thinking.
What might a supervisory conversation look like when you have to confront an employee with multiple performance issues?
Situation: You, as the Executive Director, have hired a new Vice President to lead fundraising. You’re aware that staff are not happy with the VP, and you have some concerns about the interpersonal interactions you’ve observed. Now, it appears that the critical mid-year fundraising direct mail process is behind - by almost two weeks.
I can’t give you a draft dialogue because your organization is YOURS and your people are THEMSELVES - instead, I offer some conversation starters, questions to consider, and talking points that may apply. Still worried? Contact us.
Consider:
What is your top goal with this employee?
They are a senior leader in the organization, and also new to the position.
What are the essential pieces of the job description they’re not meeting? What essential JD pieces are you concerned might not be met?
What is the impact of this person’s worrisome interpersonal behavior on their job responsibilities, the organization’s strategic goals, and the organization’s revenue?
Try saying: “We need to discuss your job description and the organization’s revenue overall. I don’t want to take time away from your priorities in our next scheduled one-on-one, so let’s meet separately - do you have time on Tuesday morning?
Or: “I’m concerned about how the direct mail piece has fallen behind. While I don’t want to rush the work to get it out when originally planned, we need to discuss why your team is at this point and how to make sure we meet the deadline for the next direct mail.”
Transparency and authenticity are always best - and sometimes caveats help the hard truths to be heard.
Try saying: “I know it’s hard to have conversations about something going wrong, but it’s how we learn from it and make sure we don’t repeat the same actions.
Or: “My goal here is to help you. But to do that I need to understand what’s been happening, from your point of view.” then, later in the conversation, bring it back to the fact that started everything - “The truth is, we’re currently in a space where [you’ve lost the trust of your staff / where our mid-year fundraising won’t bring in any income for an additional 6 weeks / I have to step in, taking time away from other departments and our board of directors, as well as the fundraising I do directly with major donors]. Let’s talk about what we can change right now to improve the situation.”
Focus on actively listening to them, then pivot to help them brainstorm - but still be explicit about any consequences if their behavior doesn’t change.
Try saying, “I hear you saying __. Am I understanding right?”
Or: “It sounds like the underlying issue might be _. Does that sound like it might capture the problem well to you?”
Try saying, “Look, I’m really glad to understand what’s been going on and how you’re approaching things. At this point, I think the best next step in this moment is _ [for us to brainstorm how to fix the situation, to bring in X employee to talk about their missed deadlines, to consider what money we can expend on bringing in a trusted vendor to get this mailing out the door, etc.].”
If necessary, try saying: “I need to be clear here - this is an issue I will also talk through with our HR Director.” (or have already asked their advice on)
Or: “I think the best thing we can both do right now is to take a break from this conversation. Let’s both think on our own about what you want, and about what’s best for this organization. We can come back together at _ [in an hour, at the end of the day, tomorrow].” If you go here - don’t let it just hang out there for a week or more! Breaks can be very helpful, but prioritize returning to the conversation as quickly as makes sense.
As the conversation happens, it’s ok to acknowledge your own moments of frustration (it’s part of being honest) - but remember - you’re the leader. You model the emotional tone of the organization. And, in part, that means that if you lose your cool, you’re giving this employee license to also lose it. They may raise their voice because they feel you’ve insulted them or in response to you raising yours!
Consider:
Is your organization one where challenges are faced head-on, tackled with poise?
Or is your organization one where people fly off the handle, yelling or becoming defensive when challenged?
Is your organization one where no one is held accountable, or assignments are regularly done late?
Or is your organization one where the leaders strive to balance empathy with accountability, being clear about the whole organization’s needs, goals, and values?
One more thing… 3rd-hand comments!
It’s important not to ignore it when there are rumblings amongst staff that so-and-so is a bad leader, or a bad communicator, or incompetent - but it is also important to stick to things you can verify in your conversations and documentation.
If what you’re hearing truly are overheard comments, it may be best to ignore them - or to gently confront the folks who are making the comments to ask about what’s driving them.
If what you’re hearing is information that someone is coming to you with directly, it’s important to hear them out, ask about what is able to be verified, and consult with HR before going to the leader in question about their behavior.
If you hear that junior staff (whether junior by tenure or by job responsibility) are unhappy with someone and you don’t understand why - perhaps the behavior of the person in question is not at all how they interact with you or with others in your presence - consider that sometimes those with the least power in an organization know the most. Sometimes people, consciously or not, alter their behavior with the people they report to.
It’s important to listen to all issues with an open mind, and to be in close touch with your HR person.