Nice vs. Kind

It’s not semantics.

It’s about a desire to help people and be a contributing member of a community.

Every organization, every company is a community. It’s just people, and that’s precisely why it can be so difficult to stay true to the company’s stated purpose. We're human - we get stressed, we get busy, we do the easy thing instead of reconnecting with the purpose that brought everyone (every worker, at all levels) together to work toward a specific purpose.

So what on earth do I mean when I offer the dichotomy “nice vs. kind?”

Consider: Is being nice the same as being kind?

As I see it, of course, the answer is no.

When I’m nice, I’m being polite - I may offer you that smile that doesn’t reach my eyes. I may offer some flexibility, without holding you accountable for results. I may offer flexibility without actually giving you autonomy in your position.

When I’m kind, I’m not necessarily being polite - I’m doing what I can to try to help you while recognizing your full agency as a person. When I offer flexibility, I will expect you to get s*** done, and take full accountability for the things you let slide or decide are unimportant.

When I’m nice, I’m doing something interpersonal - just a simple act between two people.

When I’m kind, I take a look at how the company treats people and how people treat each other around me - and I work to make everyone, including this separate entity of the company, kinder.

Kindness is a vital part of workplace happiness, but politeness is not. Etiquette doesn’t matter. Kindness - of both the interpersonal kind and the organizational kind - matters.

Kindness comes across through:

• Interpersonal gestures, like paying for someone’s coffee or tea

• Formal programs, like a gratitude wall or peer-to-peer recognition program

• Communications, like:

  • the decks given to managers to community policy changes,

  • open forum company-wide meetings, and whether anyone is allowed to speak - and whether what they say there is followed up on,

  • marketing, sales, HR, operations all working together.

  • Offering employees the right mix of flexibility, empathy, and accountability.

How is your workplace kind?