Saying Yes to Mediation Is a Yes to Flexibility

Like many helping professions, some days are great and some days are hard. Difficult days, for example, include times when I know the parties are not operating in good faith - and there’s an underlying issue that isn’t clear to me that causes their behavior.

Recently, though, I had a case that embodied the positive outcomes that people in disputes can get through the flexibility provided by mediation. These are outcomes that are not available in punitive systems - and when I say “punitive,” I’m referring to lawsuits, arbitrations, performance improvement plans, or disciplinary actions.

In those dispute resolution options, someone winds up being deemed “wrong” and may also wind up feeling unappreciated, angry, shocked, dismissed, confused, sad, depressed, anxious, indignant, or hurt - or, likely, some combination of the above.

Mediation is often an emotional experience (even at work).

People may feel all of the above emotions during the mediation - but in mediation, those emotions are experienced along the way - they are not the predominant emotion you feel at the end of the process.

In the recent case, I helped two parties resolve a lawsuit - one in which it had been the defendant who originally threatened a lawsuit and was still considering bringing a countersuit.

Because mediation gives us so much flexibility, we were able to resolve the lawsuit as well as the issue that would have been the subject of the countersuit.

These issues had been percolating for months - and for many lawsuits, the issues brew and accumulate over years!

At the end of the session, all parties were smiling. All parties shook hands willingly and happily.

At the end, one of the parties needed me to read aloud the mediator evaluation form - When I read it aloud, both parties vehemently stated: ⤵️

If the evaluation had happened on social media or a ratings site instead of a paper form that gets filed with the Virginia court system, I would like to think that both parties would have said:

“10/10! Would mediate again! Highly recommend. 😄”